


Permanent Marks

by Frostbone25



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Character Study, Child Abandonment, Child Loss, Childhood Memories, Comfort, Confinement, Death, During Canon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Family Loss, Father-Daughter Relationship, Flashbacks, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Killing, Loneliness, Loss of Identity, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Parent(s), Loss of Trust, Love, Memories, Misery, Moral Lessons, Morality, Murder, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Non-Linear Narrative, Pain, Past Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Self-Reflection, Shock, Solitary Confinement, Suffering, Suicide, Survivor Guilt, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22204315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frostbone25/pseuds/Frostbone25
Summary: On the first day of traveling away from Savannah with Christa and Omid, Clementine's mind drifts back to the past several hours as she struggles to find a reason to keep pushing forward.Those several hours being the worst hours of her life.The Marsh House incident from Clementine's point of view.
Relationships: Christa/Omid (Walking Dead: Long Road Ahead), Clementine & Lee Everett, Clementine/Lee Everett
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. Fear of Imprisonment

**Author's Note:**

> (Mood Setter)  
> [I Am Going to Die | Detroit: Become Human Unreleased OST](https://youtu.be/cyWF0qhVF90)
> 
> The first chapter, there will be a final one in a few days.
> 
> I came back and revamped quite a bit of the existing story. Read the endnotes for more info.
> 
> NOTE: 1/25/20 - This chapter and the second one have been receiving many updates to improve and fix the many mistakes I've overlooked. Not only that but I also stuck in some more story to help the piece flow better. There will again probably still be some mistakes still but it will certainly be a lot less than what it was previously.
> 
> Totally open to any feedback/criticism so feel free to comment about it! I wanna hear it!

Chapter 1 - Fear of Imprisonment

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Crunch...  


Crunch...  


Crunch...

Went the dry decaying leaves giving away every time her foot sunk onto new ground. Crushing the leaves and gravel beneath her feet, and marking her footprints on the terrain.

For a while, she would have made a difference. Until the wind would push the loose grains of soil over her marks, and covering them with more fallen leaves. Finally disappearing and never to be seen again.

Reminiscent of her decisions.

Clementine stared down at the passing terrain, her focus traveled beyond her feet. The sight of the forest bed below turning into nothing but blurred trails of red, yellow, and orange colors zipping by. Feeling an airy breeze once in a while that would gently rock her curls and brush her skin.

She imagined she was gliding high above the forest, letting the gentle forces of the wind carry herself across the landscape drenched in the golden light of dawn.

Just like a bird. Free and relaxed as her wings catch the wind and drift her across the earth. Staying far away from the dangerous world that roamed below.

She found comfort in letting herself get lost in fantasies like these, being a kid once again. Relishing feelings of freedom and carelessness.

Or scraping away at a clean sheet of white copy paper with crayons, or leaves. Creating renderings of fantastical worlds, or past memories. Memories like when she visited the botanical gardens once, on a school trip.

She was constantly searching for new ways of expression. Learning new skills that would help her draw more lines and shapes, attempting to capture the wildest imaginations.

But only for a short while...

No matter how hard she tried to lose herself in her those childish thoughts, inevitably it would all come crumbling down once again. Like a vicious tsunami, ripping through a prospering city.

Jolted out of her childish thoughts she felt the cold, harsh surface on the handle of the pistol she held. Pricking and marking her palms with a large rash. It's razor-sharp edges cutting into her fingers as they curled tightly around each corner of the gun.

Sweat pooled in her grip, making it harder to keep the weapon in place. The weight bearing down on her arms more and more with each step.

Gripping the gun for protection.

For dear life.

She trailed slowly behind Christa and Omid. The both of them stayed quiet as they strolled through the forest. Calmly, but laser-focused as they followed along the gravel trail. Hopefully leading to another shelter, or another place with supplies.

Omid would look back from time to time and catch the devastated expression that was engraved on Clementine's face. 

Occasionally catching her eyes once in a while, and giving her a warming smile in return. Trying to assure her that everything is going to be okay.

She hoped so...

She tried to gift him one back, but the corners of her mouth were tied down permanently.

She kept her distance as they had enough to worry about when it came to finding a safe place to stay. Especially that of a child who had a tendency of getting others killed... she thought pessimistically.

So she just kept to herself.

Her eyes were bloodshot, still stinging and brimming with leftover tears. Her innocence was ever so slightly draining with every teardrop that threatened to fall. She was left feeling nothing, mind void of any thoughts or emotions. 

All that was left was nothing but the empty shell of a little girl.

The faces of the dearly departed would often come back to haunt her mind. Their deaths replaying in her mind like a broken record. 

She couldn't help but think if she was to blame for them.

She knew for certain about one death she was responsible for. The one 'decision' that would permanently make its mark on the world for worse.

Just then, vivid images of the past several hours rushed back into her mind. Sparking and flooding her senses with every recorded detail.

Perfectly recreating the most horrific moments of her life. Moments that would forever continue to plague her, until the day she dies.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Several hours ago...

Clementine sat alone in a rusty bathtub. Knees curled up to her chest. Arms wrapped around her shivering legs, trying to cling onto any semblance of warmth.

It was uncomfortably cold, and eerily quiet. The claustrophobic bathroom was drenched in the deep blue light of twilight, piercing through two small cracked windows in the bathroom.

Every tile was coated with a thin layer of dust. Mold prospered in the corners of the room. Leaving a dry and musty stench that never left her nose.

Any sound she made reverberated against the bathroom walls. Amplifying it and making it ear piercingly loud against the unearthly silence that settled in the room.

Her wrist throbbed a bit from the iron grip that was held on her as she was dragged into this place. Lips bleeding from the pressing force of the stranger's arms as he blocked her screaming cries of help. Frozen with fear, and too powerless to fight back against the captor.

She grew more and more desperate with each passing second. Wanting to escape purgatory, and run back into the warm and comforting arms of her beloved guardian.

Despite her desperation, she wasn't even sure if he knew where she was. Even after she had tried to tell him on the walkie, but didn't get a chance to hear a response. Certain that her efforts were futile and worthless.

As far as she knew, she's stuck here. Held at the mercy of the man that led her astray. She hated the fact that she believed him. Leaving her to follow nothing but distant ghosts from the past. 

She should have known that he was promising a reality too good to be true. 

Her foolishness led her here, and she didn't want to wait to find out what other malicious plans the stranger had in line for her.

So she tried the only thing she could do... She tried to be strong, for Lee.

She needed to find a way to escape.

She scanned around for one. Looking back up, her eyes landed on the two windows perched high above the bathtub.

Her first option.

She raised her small shaky body to the side of the tub, and carefully climbed up onto the rim. Leaning against the wall she pushed herself all the way up on her toes to reach the window.

It was a little too far up, but too small to crawl through even for her.

Maybe she could try to squeeze through? It's possible, but she would have to break the window, and there wasn't anything in the bathroom she could use.

Well except her hands, being the only thing left at her disposal.

Fueled with determination, she stretched her left arm up to the cracked glass. Extending her hand to get as far up as she could reach, only managing to get a couple of inches above the window sill. Feeling the rough ridges and crevices scraping the tips of her fingers.

Her mind then stopped herself abruptly for a moment.

What would happen if the stranger came in and saw her like this?

No, he probably wouldn't. She hasn't heard anything outside since she was held captive. There was a small chance, but she just had to be quick.

But what if she was too loud? Would he come crashing in, and receive further consequences for doing so?

Probably... but she couldn't care less. She was desperate. 

She had to get out.

She wound up her left arm back from the window sill, ready to bash. Then jumping up, and with as much force as she could muster in that single swing, she smashed the glass.

The sound was very loud, several cracks sounding at once. Feeling her hand pass successfully through the barrier.

Before claiming victory, a painful stinging rapidly devoured her left fist. She immediately reeled it back to her stomach instinctively. Whimpering as the pain began to sear and spread all throughout it.

She unsteadily raised her left fist to survey the damage, and it wasn't pretty.

Several deep gashes ran across the base of her fist and fingers. Small fragments of glass were stuck to her hand, with blood that began to ooze through the now opened tissue. Trailing down her hand and dripping into the tub. Mixing with the dust, small patches of dirt and mold that was littered throughout the tub.

Horrified with the damage she shoved her fist back against her stomach, hoping to stop the bleeding. Letting it dry and coagulate, the blood staining her shirt.

Looking back up at the window, she did make a decent-sized hole on the glass. However there were still quite a few razor-sharp pieces still stuck to the frame, but she couldn't risk cutting herself up more by ripping the rest of the shards off.

Now she had a few open wounds, and who knows how sanitary the glass was. With that knowledge the chances of getting an infection only skyrocketed.

Going out of the window was no longer an option, much to her dismay.

Her breathing became more irregular at that realization. Desperation setting in once again as she scanned around, hoping for something to catch her eyes.

Landing on a white wooden door, the main exit.

Her second option.

It didn't come to mind initially because she was certain that it was locked, and it wouldn't have been that easy. Despite that, she gathered enough strength to drag herself to the other side of the tub. Carefully stepping over it and onto the floor. Tiptoeing quietly towards the exit. Raising her right hand up to the rusty handle, she wrapped her fingers around it. Grabbing it tight and twisting it downwards.

It was unlocked.

She then pulled back away from the door and it gave way, filling her with a sliver of hope. Why hadn't she tried this in the first place? Cursing herself.

However, her hopes instantly vanished as the door stopped abruptly. 

Desperation brewed once again, she kept pulling harder but it stayed in place.

Pulling again, and again, and again.

Getting rewarded each time with a growing sense of dread and ice-cold chills that rushed throughout her body. 

Once again, going out this way was not an option.

She whipped her head around, panting. Eyes rapidly moving around every inch of the place, searching for something.

Anything.

Then they finally landed on something.

There was a large vent on the wall, sat above the medicine cabinet. It looked a little smaller than the vent back at the dairy farm's meat locker, which meant only one thing.

She could crawl through.

It was the third option.

Still holding her left hand against her stomach, she unsteadily shuffled over to the sink. Reaching her right arm up around the corner, and with the help of her left leg, she swung herself upwards. Getting getting on top of the sink.

Standing up cautiously, propping herself against the wall with her right hand as the dusty porcelain sink-top was rather slippery. Sliding the hand up onto the vent, eyeing it closely. 

Four flathead screws sat on each corner on the vent cover.

With no tools at her disposal, she had to rely on her hands again, or rather her right hand.

She curled her fingers around the screw to twist it out of place.

It was on tight and it didn't budge, as expected. But she tried harder, shuffling her body into a comfortable position to gain more leverage. Moving her right foot to the corner of the sink.

However, that proved to be a fatal mistake.

Her foot slipped off the porcelain sink-top, throwing her body backward and tripping over the rim of the sink. She crashed down onto the incredibly hard, cold, and rigid tile floors. Smacking her head against it, and landing on her left side.

Stunning the left shoulder entirely, ribs absorbing most of the impact. Feeling the stiff bones rattling and compressing her organs as they rocked downwards toward the floor. Pain devoured her entire skull, due to the massive whiplash. Crying out in pain.

She laid there on the floor, whimpering. Teeth gritting and biting down hard on her tongue. Each shaky breath sucking in the musty bathroom air in a desperate attempt to try to diminish the pain the best she could with all the strength she had left.

Pain...

Pain...

Pain...

She couldn't think of the past, or the future.

She was stuck in the present moment. Hyperaware of every detail picked up from her senses. 

Her body begging to remedy the situation, but there wasn't anything that could be done in the moment. She had to wait for it to pass.

Unable to move her head or eyes, she reached around with her right hand, feeling the icy tiles for any hole or cracks on the floor that maybe lead to a sign of escaping.

A fourth option.

But there was nothing.

She was imprisoned.

All of her decisions mounted up to this point.

Trapped, with no way out.

Eyes burning with painful tears, limbs shaking from the lack of warmth.

She was powerless to do anything. 

Racking her brain for anything to keep her going, any semblance of comfort. 

Wishing that it all was a bad dream, that she would wake up and be right back home with her friends and family again.

But nothing came up.

She couldn't take it, she broke. 

Her heart shattered. Crumbling into millions of pieces, and scattering into a vast and empty void.

She was alone, with nothing but misery keeping her company.

And misery loves company...

She started crying uncontrollably, exhausting herself as she lied on the floor. Weak and powerless. Unable to control and muffle her agonizing sobs. The sounds echoed back to her, like a copy cat child, mocking her pain.

Everything hurt. Her agonizing cries drained the life from her soul.

She couldn't stay strong anymore.

She was terrified of never seeing Lee again.

Terrified of what would happen next, what other plans the stranger had for her.

Why did she run away, she was still perfectly safe.

She had a roof over her head, food to eat, and a bed to sleep in.

Best of all she also had friends with her.

Or did...

Carley lied on the side of the road with a gaping bullet hole in her forehead.

Lily, being the murderer, was left behind to rot.

Duck succumbed from the bite he got back from the motor inn raid.

Katjaa killed herself because she couldn't come to terms with Duck's inevitable death.

Ben was dropped to his death during the escape from Crawford.

And everyone else, she left behind. 

Christa, Omid, Kenny, and Lee...

Lee was nowhere to be found.

Maybe he died too. 

Maybe they all died, trying to find her.

She was foolish enough to open up and talk to a stranger on her walkie-talkie. Venting to him about everything that happened. Everything about the motor inn, her friends, and Lee.

Worst of all, the stranger then held a promise that he had her parents.

And she believed him.

When Lee silently told her there was no time to search for them, she couldn't take it and ran away. Thinking she could take matters into her own hands. Little did she know it was a perfect opportunity to get kidnapped.

She just wanted to go back home.

She wanted to go back home and see her friends again.

She wanted to go back home and see her parents again.

Most of all, she wanted to go back, and be with Lee again.

Out of the ashes of pain, regret, loneliness, betrayal, and sadness. A memory of him surfaced without warning.

She clung on to it, letting it take over her senses. Drifting her away into the past, letting it become her reality.

Even if it was for a short while.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The night sky glistened beautifully with the endless constellations of stars that were peppered throughout the vastness of space.

The moon bloomed brilliantly in the night sky. Reflecting dim sunlight off the lunar surface and back to earth. Draping a blanket of deep, blue light that illuminated the landscape. Revealing vast cornfields and grassy hills that rolled off into the night.

It was the perfect temperature outside. Not too cold, and not too hot. It was just right.

A soft breeze glided through once in a while, tenderly brushing over the blades of grass sprouting from the soil.

Clementine lay curled up on her makeshift bed. Listening quietly to the subtle sounds of wind funneling through the crevices of the barn's wooden walls, and the rustling of grass dancing outside in the wind.

No crickets were chirping this night. 

It was incredibly peaceful.

Lee was next to her in the barn, eyes open, staring into the ceiling where the night sky poked through some of the planks of wood sitting above.

He didn't look tired. Instead, he looked almost distant, deep in thought. Clementine still didn't know too much about him, but despite that she felt very comfortable being in his company.

The both of them taking refuge in Hershel's farm, after escaping the death ridden suburbs of Atlanta.

It was a welcomed change in scenery. It felt normal again, quiet and peaceful compared to the past few days. The serenity of the night lulling her to sleep. She felt her eyelids wanting to close together like two magnets, growing closer due to the force of attraction.

It got stronger the longer she resisted, but she just wanted to hold them open for longer so she can cherish the moment.

"My mom played the tuba." - Lee said. Pulling Clementine out of her thoughts.

"Really?" - she said.

"Yeah" - he answered, chuckling at the thought.

"It was strange... She was a really small lady." - He couldn't help the grin that began to grow on his face as he began recalling a memory.

She could agree on it too, imagining a small woman with a tuba. Dwarfed in comparison by the size of a massive brass instrument. How was she even able to hold it?

"This one time my brother thought it would be funny to fill her tuba full of flour on April Fool's Day... And that same day, she thought it'd be funny to wake me up for school by playing it right in my face."

"What happened?" - she questioned, though she could see where it was going.

"Just about what you'd expect." - Lee finished.

She couldn't help but giggle at the scene that her mind painted.

A teenage Lee sitting upright in bed, drenched with flour. Wearing a frown on his face. His sheets powdered with nothing but a blanket of white. His mom on the side of his bed with her tuba, laughing, and seeing his young brother peering into his room with a smirk on his face.

"That's funny." - she commented.

"Yeah... I don't know why I remembered that." - He quietly spoke. A smile plastered on his face.

A smile.

Even back then when she didn't know much about him it warmed her heart, he was so kind, and had an aroua of security that surrounded him. She wondered if he had any kids.

He reminded her a lot about her dad.

Her dad.

The last memory she had of her parents appeared in her mind.

Driving away in the car, waving their hands' goodbye as she stood on the driveway next to her babysitter Sandra.

It stung her heart.

The only thing they left behind was a hat, marked with a logo of their favorite baseball team. Every time she saw it reminded her about her parents, and she wore it with pride.

It was their mark on her world.

She had been alone for a few days, surviving on her own, but she constantly held on to the hope that just someday, they would come back home.

"I miss my mom and dad..." - Clementine softly spoke.

Lee turned his head to her, immediately concerned with the sudden change in tone. He watched her expression slowly drop the further she fell into thoughts about her own family.

Then he thought quietly about what she said. Instinctively turning his head back up towards heavens as he too, began to fall deep in thought.

He hasn't seen his family in months. After the incident, he wasn't allowed to talk to them.

Even if the circumstances were vastly different compared to her own, he couldn't help but feel the same as her.

"Me too..." - Lee solemnly spoke.

Clementine did a double-take on what he said.

Not expecting to ever hear something like that from a man like him, but it wasn't really all that strange the more she thought about it.

Seeing the carnage in her neighborhood, knowing that many families and kids would be split apart from each other. Either by fleeing with no line of contact with each other, or worse... Literally being torn apart by monsters.

She doubted that would apply to her parents. They were smart and they would know what to do, but she couldn't help but wished they haven't gone to Savannah.

Thinking about the city, she realized that she didn't know too much about it. She visited many years ago when she was much younger but couldn't remember how far it was.

"How far is Savannah?" - Clementine wondered.

"Pretty far." - Lee answered.

"Oh..." - she said.

Stinging her a bit as it dawned on her that it would be a longer journey than she thought.

Lee picked up on her solemn response and turned to look at her. Seeing a sad expression dawning on her face.

"I won't leave you alone." - Lee said, with a smile once again.

She looked up and stared back into his warm and comforting eyes.

He didn't waver, he held his ground because he wanted to assure her.

She could tell that he meant it, and couldn't help but let the corners of her mouth move up. Revealing a grateful smile.

Knowing at that moment, he would there for her.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door suddenly shook violently, and Clementine immediately bolted backward in fear.

Shuffling back away from the door until she hit the bathtub. Fear flooded her system and she quickly shielded herself, burying her head behind her shaking legs. Preparing for the inevitable wrath of the stranger, she closed her eyes and kept sobbing quietly. The pain still present.

She heard the door creak open and stop, followed by a menacing silence.

She didn't have enough strength to raise her head to see the captor, she stayed where she was and continued sobbing.

"Hey, honey..."

Her blood ran ice-cold.

The voice was uncomfortably steady, and calm. It was the same voice on the radio, the same voice that lied to her.

She couldn't respond, gripping herself much harder as she heard every little rustle from his clothes. He walked quietly towards her and keeled down slowly. Stopping at a distance.

Staring quietly at her.

"I'm not... going to hurt you" - He spoke. His speech was very stilted and slow. It was really uncomfortable so she just continued to ignore him.

"I promise." - He said.

'I promise.'

Promised.

Like he promised her, about her parents.

He lied.

He fucking lied.

But why?

He sighed at the lack of a response from her, sensing her subtle hostility.

"I'm not a bad man... I'm just a... Dad." - He spoke quietly.

She slowly raised her tear brimming eyes and scanned the man kneeling in front of her from a distance.

He had pale skin, scruffy brown hair, and was pretty slender. Despite his lacking frame he towered over her, even from a distance. His most striking feature was his eyes.

Pale blue eyes that showed no sign of emotion. Making it difficult for her to gauge how much danger he posed.

"I can take care of you... We can have a family." - He spoke.

She froze, realizing the intentions behind those words. Not noticing more pain settling in the same spot she was digging her nails into, to the point that she was certain that blood was seeping out.

She never felt so much regret at that moment. She told him everything over the walkie-talkie. Especially about Lee, and she could tell that he didn't like him.

The stories she had told the stranger only acted as timber to the fire. Fueling it as it raged behind those ice-cold eyes. Seeing that Lee was nothing but a dangerous man.

Despite that, there was one thing the stranger never saw...

Even if Lee was in the wrong, he always managed to pull through to keep her safe. To keep everyone safe.

He tried his absolute hardest to save everyone, but the world would always push him to make difficult choices, and she can't blame him for that.

No one can.

The stranger gave up and stood up slowly. His full height becoming clear. He turned around slowly and walked out of the bathroom. Stopping at the door frame, turning his head to look at her.

Remorse flickered behind his pale blue eyes as he was met with the sight before him.

Clementine was sitting by the bathtub. Curled up, knees up to her chest, and shaking uncontrollably. Her right hand gripping her left shoulder, still holding her bloody left hand against her stomach.

Her head was raised slightly, staring back at him. She looked a bit pale, and her cheeks were wet with fresh streams of tears that kept flowing down her face. Her glassy amber-colored eyes, shinning red with devastation, and biting back at the captor's eyes.

He then turned around and finally left.

Closing the door with starling force. Fiddling with the doorknob for a bit until it stopped, followed with muffled footsteps that faded away until they vanished.

She was left alone, again.

Left with nothing but her sounds of unsteady breathing, and menacing silence following in-between each breath.

She felt a slight pinch against her waist.

Reaching down with her right hand she felt for the location of the pinch. Forgetting that the source of it was in her pocket.

She reached in and felt it's a smooth surface, grabbing it and pulling it out carefully, feeling the rough edges on one side of it.

She moved it out and brought it into view.

It was a photo.

A photo of Lee, from the pharmacy.

Just him, torn away from the rest of his family photograph.

Just like how he was torn away from his real family, before the apocalypse.

Just like many families were too.

It burned her eyes the longer she looked at the photo.

Brimming with tears as she reached out with her fingers.

Hoping to feel his comfort again, but only felt the smooth surface of the photograph.

She missed him.

She wanted to be with him again.

She wanted to be wrapped around his arms again.

She wanted him to tell her everything is going to be alright.

She felt the world splitting in two again, and cried.

Squeezing the cherished photo of Lee close to her heart.

Silently promising herself.

She would never leave him again.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hoped you enjoyed the first part, because if I'm honest I think the writing is mediocre at best. So I'm surprised if you've even reached this far.
> 
> This started out as a small personal project for fun, as I mainly wanted to practice out writing stories, and writing something like this would work as a stepping stone into writing original content. 
> 
> This is something that's been in my head for a while and I wanted to get this out and into tangible words. Ontop of that I haven't seen anyone explore this incident about the Marsh House, as I feel like it's one of the most important moments in Clementine's life.
> 
> I do have a few more these that I'm going to write but wether or not I post them on here will depend on how well they are received. 
> 
> As for the edits I changed and added quite a bit of new story. Along with that I made alot of grammar and spelling corrections/changes (though there are still plenty of them). Ontop of that I mostly rewrote paragraphs in a more personified style, trying to add more 'character' to the work itself.
> 
> More importantly I'm sticking through and finishing the final chapter within a few days for real this time. Life took over and this had to be put to the side for a bit.
> 
> Anyways the next and final chapter should be coming within a few days so stay tuned if want to see it through. 
> 
> Please leave some feedback! I'm totally open to any ideas or criticisms you may have.


	2. Bear Your Suffering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave some feedback! I'm totally open to any critiques you may have so shoot away!

Chapter 2 - Bear your Suffering

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Clementine stood by the opening of a boxcar. Surrounded by forest on all sides.

The sky was cloudless, filled with nothing but deep ocean blue for miles.

A chilling wind gust blasted through once a while, rustling the decaying tree leaves. Ripping some off of the branches, and gliding down to the ground with ease.

Unfortunately, she paid no attention to the surrounding beauty of fall.

The only thing that stood out in her vision was a familiar pair of blue eyes. Looking in her direction, but there was something off about them. 

Usually, they held cheeriness and optimism, but instead, they were filled with fear and despair. Worst of all she could see the life behind those eyes slowly withering away.

Those eyes belonged to Duck.

One of the only friends she had left. 

She stood by helplessly, watching him as he clung onto his mother's shoulder for dear life. His body still battling the lethal infection that was taking his life. 

They held eye contact with each other. Silently telling each other goodbye as she stood by the boxcar. Watching his eyes grow smaller as he was carried deep into the forest, his head bobbing up and down gently with every step his mom took. The two pillars of strength in his life standing alongside him. 

Katjaa, his mom.

And Kenny, his dad.

A strong family bond that still held them together, even through the darkest of times.

Before she knew it, they finally vanished into the forest.

Lee quietly walked over to her and kneeled down, wanting to accompany her. 

"Duck is dying" - Lee said, with a somber tone.

"I know..." - she responded. Eyes glued to the last spot she saw them, the image of the family now fading away.

"What are you gonna do with him?" - she then asked. 

He thought about it for a moment. Wondering whether or not he should be direct.

"We're gonna make sure he's okay." - Lee said.

She furrowed her brows instinctively at his answer. She wasn't stupid. 

She knew he was bitten, the time is up and death was around the corner. She overheard them talking about how they could save him, but they weren't able to come up with anything. What was this last-minute decision?

"How? He's dying..." - she said.

Lee then realized that he couldn't lie to her. She was smart, so he was forced to be direct with her. Breaking eye contact, as he did not want to see her expression fall further with his words.

"By putting him out of his misery." - he stated.

Oh.

So that was it. 

She would never see Duck again.

The cheery, fun, and innocent boy that was her friend.

Another life to be lost.

Another family to be broken and torn apart.

All of those memories with him; The jokes, pranks, conversations, and comforting moments were now soon to be closed in a chest and locked away forever.

Taken to the grave.

Clementine met Lee's eyes again, but she saw something different when peering back. Instead of pain, she saw determination.

"This will never happen to you." - He said.

She wanted to believe it.

But she knew.

And he knew too.

He can't guarantee it that. 

No one can. 

Not even herself.

"You don't know that." - she responded.

She was tired of being told watered-down versions of the truth. She had to call him out. 

However, upon doing so she immediately regretted it. Seeing the sliver of guilt reappear in his eyes, flickering back to the past. Recalling several close calls she had with him. 

She failed to realize then that he was just trying his best to make sure that she felt perfectly safe. 

Even though they both knew that could change, he still kept his word.

He would protect her no matter what.

"Look Clem... everythi-" - Lee was cut off with the roaring sound of a gunshot in the distance, followed with the screams of a man.

Those screams belonged to Kenny. 

It was because of Duck's mom, Katjaa.

A mother would always remember the time when they would see their baby take its first breaths of air. 

Marveling at the fact that they have brought new life to this world, a life that is full of untapped potential. 

But like any mother, they couldn't stand the sight of their baby take their last breaths of air.

So Katjaa killed herself that day. 

Unable to face the failure as a parent to protect  
your only child. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Clementine sat in the same spot for what seemed like minutes.

Hours.

Days.

It felt like an eternity. As if she was a lost soul, stuck in purgatory with no further destination. Her fate left undecided.

She lost all sense of time. 

She's thought of everything. 

She tried to escape but failed miserably. 

There wasn't anything else to do but wait, for impending doom.

Her eyelids felt heavy. Knowing that she was alone, she just wanted to close them and drift away; never opening her eyes again.

Until something stopped her.

On the other side of the wall, she heard a muffled voice, which she was sure didn't belong to the stranger. Followed with the sound of an object dropping and snapping open. Startling her awake.

"Who's out there?" - Clementine demanded. 

She didn't want to deal with any more strangers. Why couldn't they just leave her alone?

"Quiet, please... Sweetie." - she heard, recognizing that voice. 

It belonged to the stranger.

But it didn't sound like the other one she heard.

Chills ran down her spine at the realization.

Someone else was here.

The stranger never made a sound ever since she was in the bathroom.

Now she was fully alert.

Quietly, she stood up from her spot and glided over to the wall, cupping her ear against it. 

She heard the other muffled voice again. It was deeper than the stranger's, but it seemed familiar.

Maybe it was Lee.

Her mind immediately doubted that thought, but despite that, she was now filled with a newfound sense of curiosity.

She backed away from the wall and took a look around once again. The window and vent were still not an option, but the door seemed to stand out.

No. She already tried that, but something told her to try it again.

She shuffled towards the door and reached for the handle, twisting and pulling it once again.

The door was already unlocked. No surprise.

Still doubtful, she pulled it back further. 

The door stopped as expected, trying to pull again yielded the exact same result.

So what could be stopping the door from opening any further?

Looking around, there was nothing in the bathroom that blocked it. 

Luckily, where the door meets the frame, it was just barely open enough to show a sliver of the room behind it.

She peeked through it, seeing something on the doorknob, with a line that was connected to the closet. 

It was a piece of rope, tied down on both the bathroom and closet doorknobs.

She tried twisting the handle, noticing the rope gave a bit, especially around the handle.

She tried again, twisting it left and right and pulling back hard a few times. The rope felt much looser before.

Hope had reinvigorated her system again.

However, she was so caught up with her discovery that she didn't notice the heated conversation being carried out through the wall.

As much as she wanted to get out, curiosity got the best of her and she decided to eavesdrop on the brewing argument.

Getting loud now, she decided to let go of the door and listen. Cupping her ear against the wall.

"You're a monster... You're a thief... And I'm gonna hurt you so bad..." - she heard, recognizing that voice belonged to the stranger. 

"Just give me Clementine back." - a familiar voice pleaded. Lee? He sounded weak.

"I'd rather kill her myself..." - the stranger replied, coldly.

Blood instantly turned to ice.

Body freezing with those words.

Her heartbeat went into overdrive, panic setting in, and she began having cold sweats.

He was going to kill her.

Her instincts were blaring alarms at her.

She had to get out.

NOW.

She wrapped her hands around the handle of the door and twisted, pulling back viciously with all of her strength.

Again.

And again.

And again.

She felt the tension on the door loosen more than before. Constantly moving the handle was also making quite a bit of noise, but that didn't matter. He was going to kill her. She had to get out, so she kept pulling.

Again.

And again

And again.

The door handle became damp with sweat, it was getting harder to keep a firm grip on it but the rope weakened with every pull. A battle she was finally winning, but she couldn't stop. She kept at it, planting her right foot against the wall and pulled.

Again

And again.

And again.

Finally.

Then she was free.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The end of the rope that was tied to the door finally loosened under its own weight, unraveling and gliding down to the floor. The door swinging open slowly, revealing the rest of the room.

Freedom at last.

But not quite yet.

She peeked out from the bathroom, her breath was immediately taken away at the sight.

Lee was there.

They met each other's eyes and she felt a wave of relief wash over her.

"I'm glad too..." - the stranger said. 

She saw that Lee was sat in front of the stranger, held at gunpoint, but the man was addressing something in the handbag next to his foot.

Lee then broke eye contact with Clementine and flicked his eyes to the right. She looked in that direction and saw what he was hinting at.

Sat on top of a dark oakwood table was a large, silver-colored object. Sprinkled and smeared with leftover red residue that glistened under the window light. 

It was a meat cleaver.

Then she looked back at him, his eyes now on her. 

He was instructing her, and she had to act fast.

"I wish it wouldn't have to get this bad but it's all over hon... isn't it?" - the stranger continued, not paying much attention to Lee.

She tiptoed over to the desk and curled her fingers around the wooden handle. Grabbing the weapon.

"Just about..." - Lee said.

She turned back and walked very quietly towards the back of the stranger's chair. Stepping towards her captor. 

Her palms pooling with sweat, hands shaking uncontrollably. Fingers wrapping tightly around the handle. Squeezing it with might, and for protection.

He was the man that kidnapped her. Took her away from Lee, and he was going to kill her if she went with him. She never wanted to hurt anyone in her life. Her body wanted to stop as she was going against her own morals, but this had to be done. For her own safety.

"I hate seeing you like this... I just miss your smile honey... I miss you so much Tess... you're gonna like Clementine a lot. She's not Lizzy but she's sweet... she wouldn't hurt a fly..." - She drove the meat cleaver down onto the stranger's shoulder with as much force as humanly possible. Embedding it into his shoulder and quickly pulling it back out.

Blood began to seep through his shoulder from the deep gash, exposing the raw muscle and tissue behind the skin. Rewarding her with his agonizing scream.

This gave Lee an open window to attack. 

He lunged forward. 

However, the stranger had quick reaction times. Sinking his foot deep into Lee's abdomen, knocking him back towards the hardwood floor.

Giving him the high ground, quickly towering over Lee with the gun still in hand.

Lee was quick to notice it luckily and grabbed the man's arm. Trying to push the gun away from his head, struggling with his rapidly fading strength. 

Realizing he was distracted on aiming the gun, he used the opportunity to kick the man's stomach with excruciating force. Slamming him onto the bed frame, knocking the wind out of him and sending the gun flying across the floor.

They both noticed it immediately and quickly sprung up to race toward it.

Lee was closer but the stranger was faster, beating him to it.

Just as the stranger grabbed the gun, Lee sprinted towards him. Lunging at him with full force right as he turned around. 

A roaring gunshot sounded as Lee slammed into the stranger. The momentum throwing them towards the closet, bashing both doors open.

Lee shoved his right hand to the man's throat. Grabbing tight and squeezing, choking him violently.

Right as he did that he began to feel a burning sensation in his right side, and something warm trickling down from that spot. The pain rapidly intensified.

The man felt Lee's chokehold weaken, and saw his face grimacing in pain. He then used this golden opportunity to sink his knee into the wound on Lee's right side, hitting the jackpot. 

The pain Lee felt from that was excruciating, forcing him to stumble back and grab his side instinctively. The stranger then used that to tackle him to the ground, wrapping his hands around Lee's neck and squishing it as hard as he could.

"WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE!" - the stranger roared. Strangling the life out of Lee. The man's iron grip quickly seized. Blocking Lee's airways completely, cutting off his life support. 

Now his time was limited to a matter of minutes. He still struggled to pull his hands off as they were latched around his neck. Painfully tight. Like a deadly parasite. Unwilling to let go as it leeched on the host's life, slowly killing it in the process. Lee then felt something different in himself as stared back at the stranger's rage-fueled eyes. 

He was scared.

He felt his strength slowly withering away without permission. His instincts, formed from thousands of years ago was in full effect. Desperate now he dug deep into the beast's hands, trying to pry it away with his one arm but to no avail. 

He kept pulling and pulling with all his might. Again, and again, and again but saw that his vision was beginning to fade. The lights were getting dark and the darks getting darker. He was powerless, unable to remedy the situation. 

It was impossible, he thought.

No, he thought that before. 

He's managed to pull through and succeed when the odds were stacked against him many times before. 

But this was different. He had friends with him too, people who helped him. He got incredibly lucky with that many times, and he knew it.

But he couldn't succeed by himself. No, he didn't stand a chance. Just like the time he stumbled upon the walker back at Clementine's house. She was there to help him.

This time he was alone. 

Even if he somehow managed to survive, it would all be for naught as he was still bitten.

Everyone's luck runs out at some point.

And his supply had run empty.

The beast overpowered him, and he was dying. Getting killed out in the wild, by a stronger animal. Ruling higher in the food chain, and he was the weaker one. 

Something then snapped inside of him, and he felt a disconnection.

From that point on, something changed.

For the first time in his life. 

He did something he never thought he would do.

He began to feel his hands go limp. 

His vision darkened, and blurred. 

His strength had disappeared.

There was nothing more he could do.

He gave up.

Accepting his death.

The stranger was doing him a favor.

He was sparing him from living in this shithole, and the crippling infection. 

His mind went to Clementine. 

He would never see her again. Never see her make new friends, and grow up tall. 

It ached his heart. Nothing he could do now.

He was getting taken away from this world either way. 

He was tired, and scared. 

He didn't want to turn.

He didn't want to feel the pain of it all anymore.

He gave up. Letting go of the man's hands completely.

The last thing Lee would see would be the fire that raged inside of those pale, blue eyes.

Hatred...

He closed his eyes.

Embracing the darkness.

And thankfully.

At that moment.

All pain disappeared.

And finally.

Lee was at peace.

BANG!

Everything went dead silent.

Too silent...

A high pitched ringing slowly began to sound.

Lee wasn't sure of what just happened...

Did time stop?

Did he finally die?

His questions were then answered when all feelings rushed back to his senses.

He still felt the stranger's steely grip around his neck. However, it quickly weakened.

Finally releasing from his neck.

He felt his airways open up again. 

Unrestrained, and free to breathe again.

His relief was quickly interrupted with the sound of something heavy, tumbling to his left.

He opened his eyes, and saw a white ceiling. The man was no longer on top of him anymore.

Confused, he turned his head to the source of the sound. 

The sight of it shocked him.

The stranger's face held a soft, but surprised expression. 

His pale blue eyes were looking straight in Lee's direction, meeting his own eyes. 

However, they lacked the rage that fostered behind them. 

Instead, they looked frozen.

Lifeless.

A pool of crimson began blooming below his head, like a rose in the spring. 

Slowly expanding in size. Bits of red matter floated on the surface, moving with the outward current. Spreading out on the dark oakwood floor. 

Towards Lee. 

Startled by the sight, he jolted upright and looked for the source of it. 

Then he saw it.

A perfect, round hole on the side of the stranger's forehead.

He was shot.

But how?

He quickly turned his head to the right, where the piercing bang originated from.

He saw a cloud of white smoke, sprouting from the barrel of a gun. Filling the room with the fresh smell of gunpowder. The gun shook uncontrollably, rattling with every move. 

Looking at it more closely, he saw nine fingers. With dark, red lines running across some of them. Each one curled tightly around the handle of the gun, with one finger pointed away from the trigger.

As his eyes traveled from the hands to the arms, the shaking steadily decreased. Seeing that they were attached to a small body. His eyes then moved upwards, a face appearing from the blurry background. 

Wet trails ran downwards along both sides, coming from each eye. The eyes were red, and in the center of each one, lied an amber-colored circle. With a large, deep black dot in the middle.

Inside the darkness, manifested feelings of shock, fear, and devastation.

Those eyes belonged to Clementine.

She stood before him, gun still pointed at the now invisible target.

She was here.

She was here with him.

And she saved him from near death.

Just like she did the first time they met.

Maybe he wasn't alone after all.

Clementine couldn't believe that she was here with him again.

She gently lowered the gun to the floor, letting it drop from her hand as she got a better look.

He looked like absolute shit. Like he had literally gone through hell and back.

She knew that it was her fault for putting him through that. She was responsible for his pain.

"I... I..." - she stuttered. 

Her words failing her as she tried to form an apology.

Eyes burning with tears at the sight of him.

The mess she had put him through.

The pain, now permanently marked on him.

She was scared. 

She was going to be punished, and she knew she deserved every ounce of it.

She was responsible for his misery.

She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. Accepting her upcoming abandonment, she was a nothing but trouble magnet to him. A nuisance, and she saw that loud and clear now. 

She took another deep breath, trying to regain the energy and courage to speak to him again.

Before she could try again, she unexpectedly felt his arm wrapping around her body. Flinching as he gently pushed her towards him.

All she felt before was pain, but the foreign feelings of warmth and comfort spreading across her body as he hugged her tightly was the one, unexpected gesture that broke her.

She started sobbing uncontrollably.

All of her already damaged walls, now finally shattering into millions of pieces.

She felt undeserving of the comfort she was receiving. She had put him through hell.

She desperately wanted to apologize to him, but she was unable to put into words how much she regretted running away from him.

It hurt Lee to his core just to see those feelings of pain in her eyes, nothing but agony and pure regret. 

Seeing her crying this hard was just making it unbearably worse. 

He just wanted to take away all of the misery she was experiencing.

All of the fear.

All of the trauma.

All of the pain.

He would take it all away in a heartbeat.

Because he wanted nothing more... 

But to make her happy again.

Back to the happy, cheerful, and brave little girl he saw when he first found her.

He would do whatever it takes.

With all the time that he had left.

Even if it was only for a short while.

She was still crying, so gently started rocking her back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Like a baby, shushing and cooing softly her. Hugging her tight, and repeatedly assuring her that everything is going to be okay. 

It's gonna be okay.

"Clementine?" - she heard.

She looked up with her tearful vision, back at Lee.

But it wasn't him that said it. 

CLEMENTINE!

The last thing she would remember, would be his loving warm and comforting eyes.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

She felt herself drift from one distant place to another at the speed of light.

She jolted awake, slamming back into the present moment. Overwhelming her senses.

Feeling the warm sun, beaming down on her skin. A cold but gentle breeze, brushing by and rocking her curls. The air surrounding her felt thin, but fresh. 

Breathing it all in deeply, feeling it travel through and expand her lungs. Smelling a mild scent of pollen. 

She then heard the sound of leaves and grass gently dancing in the breeze. Intensifying, and then quieting like a slow and steady heartbeat.

The ground was covered with a bed of red, yellow, and orange leaves. All of various shapes and sizes. Quite a few twigs were spread out the ground, and there were patches of long blades grass sprouting out from the leaf bed. Moving upwards were lots of slender tree trunks, planted firmly in the ground and plated with white bark that was peppered with black splotches. 

Birch trees, her favorite.

Up further were some more autumn color leaves that were stuck to each branch. Some leaves were falling off and floating down with the wind. 

Behind it, all lied an ocean blue sky, littered with a few white clouds, and a warm beaming sun making the forest glow with life.

She was breathless at the sight. 

Out with the eternal pain and misery, she experienced in dark and claustrophobic rooms. Coming to a vast serene forest, rewarding her with warmth and comfort. 

The sight of it made her teary-eyed, she wished Lee was here. 

Experiencing this with her.

But he wasn't here anymore.

She didn't notice that in the center of her vision were two floating pairs of eyes. One was brown colored, and the other the same but slightly darker. 

They both shared feelings of concern and remorse.

She realized she was staring back at Christa and Omid.

Christa, wearing a purple jacket and blue jeans, stood tall behind Omid. Who was also wearing jeans and a grey jacket. He was right in front of Clementine, kneeling down to her level. Not realizing that he had a hand on her right shoulder.

"Everything alright Clementine?" - Omid asked.

She didn't notice how cold her cheeks felt in the wind. The chilly breeze stinging her eyes.

"I'm... I'm ok." - she whispered.

"You don't have to be honey. We just want you to know that you can talk to us." - Christa said.

Omid nodded, reinforcing her point. They were offering to be there for her when needed.

He then turned forward to continue walking along the trail. Christa stayed in place, waiting for Clementine to follow along. 

But Clementine needed to know something.

"Christa." - she asked.

"Yes, honey?"

She struggled to formulate her response.

"I don't know what to do." - Clementine admitted, quietly.

She raised her brow, unsure of what she means.

"What do you mean?" - Christa asked.

"Everyone I know keeps dying... and I don't know what to do." - she said, choking up on her words.

Christa felt remorse for her, striking a few chords in her heart. She really was just a little girl, in the midst of horrible situations.

"We have to keep going, honey." - Christa said, trying to assure her.

"But why? I've already gotten my friends killed..." - Clementine said.

"Hey, none of that is on you." - she assured, but her response ghosted through her.

"And... And... I don't want to get you killed too." - Clementine finished.

"You won't honey." - Christa said again. She wasn't going to let her blame herself for the deaths of her peers. It was a dangerous path she was falling into. Noticing that her expression didn't change. She sighed in defeat.

It was hard for her to see an innocent little girl, who was always hopeful and brave, become broken like that. 

Lee asked them to take good care of her. Back in Savannah when Omid was hurt, instead of leaving him for dead which she was full-heartedly expecting, he chose to help him. If it wasn't for him Omid would have been gone, and because of that, she is forever grateful that he saved him. 

She had to return the favor for Lee. She was going to help Clementine any way she could, even after his death.

"Why do you think Lee still kept on going?"

Clementine didn't expect that.

She felt a lump grow in her throat. The wound was still fresh in her mind, mentioning her guardian's name just acted as salt on the wound.

But Christa brought up a good point.

Why did he?

He was forced many times into difficult decisions, choosing the life of one over the other. It was hard for him to see them die, but he still kept going and continued to help people.

"We have to accept the world for what it is, honey. Even if we don't like it. But we try to make the best of it, and we try to be a good person, so we don't make it worse." - Christa said.

Clementine perked up, she could tell that Christa meant every word.

"Look whatever the world throws at us, we have to be ready to get back up again... That's what Lee did... And you should too."

'That's what Lee did.'

That line repeated in her head over and over again. It made perfect sense, but it still made her sad.

Lee before the apocalypse was a criminal, he killed someone. Then he wasn't allowed to be near his family, and to make matters worse they hated him.

Everyone who knew about the incident always peered back with unkind eyes, and he hated that. 

A criminal wasn't the label that defined him, he wanted to be more than that. He wanted to prove that he wasn't, and when he met Clementine. He knew that was his opportunity.

He was going to get her back to her parents, to try and restore a family that was torn apart. Even though he couldn't have known that they were already dead. 

He knew what it was like, and he didn't want that for her. He made it his personal mission to help others, even if he failed.

Despite all of the suffering he's experienced, he pressed on. Doing everything in his power to help everyone. To keep everyone together, and help them in times of need.

That's what Lee did.

And that's what Clementine would do too.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's the story. Finally, it's off my chest.
> 
> Occasionally I'll come back and correct some grammar mistakes, spelling, etc as I have a tendency to tweak things even after I finish them.
> 
> Some of my own personal thoughts. I think especially towards the end with Christa's advice seems out of character to me honestly, to me I feel like she would be less forgiving of her. But then again this is before the events of S2. I dunno you guys tell me what you think.
> 
> Once again I still think the writing is mediocre at best, I think I did a better job on this last chapter compared to the first one, but in order to get it to a state that I'm happy with I have to spend a lot of time on it that honestly, I don't have. It's better to stick through and finish a project and learn from your mistakes afterward so you get into the habit of completing projects.
> 
> But despite that, I have another story coming out after this one.
> 
> Other than that, I hope you enjoyed it. Check back once in a while as its likely that things will change. Anyways happy reading!
> 
> NOTE: Please leave some feedback and let me know what you think! I'm totally open to any critiques you may have so shoot away!


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